The Jeff Bezos blackmail scandal combines tawdry details about genital size with a potential quid-pro-quo tying into the Trump-Russia investigation. Therefore, it’s a story that’s irresistible to the media and therefore, “Saturday Night Live.”
The show addressed the story first thing upon returning from its two-week break in a spoof of NBC’s “Meet the Press,” with Kyle Mooney as Chuck Todd, joined by a roundtable of some of the country’s most decorated journalists: Washington Post columnist Eugene Robinson (Kenan Thompson), Wall Street Journal columnist Peggy Noonan (Cecily Strong) and Donna Brazile (Leslie Jones), the former chair of the Democratic National Committee.
Now, one might expect serious journalists like them to focus on the part about a tabloid blackmailing the world’s richest man and how it might cost National Enquirer publisher David Pecker the immunity deal he signed with Robert Mueller. Nope, all they wanted to talk about was the size of Bezos’s package.
“When I hear billionaire’s penis, I immediately think small potatoes,” said Noonan. “It’s like they say – if it’s small, it looks funny, you better have the money, honey.”
Robinson went with an Amazon product analogy: “As a journalist, this is not something I ever thought I’d have to cover, but as a human being I’m naturally curious,” said Robinson. “Is he working with something the size of an Amazon Echo or is it more of a Dot?”
Nothing could get Todd and his guests off the topic of Bezos’s anatomy – not even Tuesday’s State of the Union address or acting U.S. Attorney General Matt Whitaker‘s (Aidy Bryant) dropping a potential bombshell about President Trump directing him to interfere in the Mueller investigation.
The burly, bald Whitaker told the “Meet the Press” host that once his three months as AG are up, he’d soon return to his day job of “breaking up fights on ‘The Jerry Springer Show.’ “
Just as Whitaker was about to reveal what Trump had told him, Todd interrupted him to announce the Bezos photos had been released.
“Ohhhh!” Robinson exclaimed. “Christmas in February!”
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